TALES FROM THE ROAD WITH BRIAN AND THE
COMET
ARCHIVE
Visions of the open road and pithy prose
to describe the mythos that lies just beyond the next curve.
It's all here - the complete adventures on the Great American
Highways!
Check out the
"Live Shots" of Milty and the Gang at Tour Central by
clicking here!
Day 30 - June 30, 2004 (NOTE: Click on photos to view larger images.)
Straying once more from the world of taxidermy and
toward that of Comets (sniff) I dropped in on Ron and Jeanie at
Northwest Falcon. For any Comet owner, or Ford Flacon owner, this is the
place where you can find almost any part imaginable for your vintage
ride. Beyond that, Ron and Jeanie have been a big help to yours truly
with advice and support when things go wrong. They're very busy folks,
but have taken the time time help me when I was in a jam, so I was very
eager to meet them. You can't have too many friends, Comets aside. Ron's
desk is more like a control center, with three screens, and I was
reminded of poor Milty back there with the technicians at wiprud.com
control center. Their warehouse is impressively stocked, but like when I
was in Cabelas surrounded by fishing "equippage" I couldn't think of a
thing to buy. Also met Nicky and Keith who work there, great people.
Met Jill Hinkley at Murder By the Book in Portland for my 5pm signing
and had a small but conversive bunch for the signing. Jill provided
refreshments as I went through slides of my trip to various taxidermy
oddities and swapped stories with the attendees about taxidermy and of
course squirrels (even those chased by Clingons...don't ask.) Then a
hand went up in back and I was asked by young woman how I pronounced my
name. When I replied, she said "Well, I pronounce mine 'Wiprood."
Another western Wiprud! And she was 99 years old too, though I swear
she didn't look a day over 35. Well, OK, she didn't actually say she was
99. I've just come to assume all my relatives are 99. This was Kathy
Wiprud, one of the young Wipruds I was chastising yesterday, and she
brought family photos of S.T. Wiprud and kin, a book on farms subsidies
(they all die in the end) by AC Wiprud, and tales of an ancient King
Vipen (Veepin) who lost his hand in battle and had an assortment of
fancy detachable prosthetics that are now on display somewhere in
Norway. Royalty and prosthetics in my heritage - who knew? Chatted a
long time after the signing, though a little too long on the subject of
sea sickness. Fabulous of her to come down, much appreciate it Kathy and
a pleasure meeting you - hope to see you next year.
The TOUR IS DONE! Headed over to Ron and Jeanie's place - I brought
the steaks, almost left them with Jill - and did a little cookout. Ron
turns out to be quite the gourmand, chef, gardener and expert on the
likes and whiles of ladybugs that cotton to his hops vines. Hops - yes,
he had beer, four kinds on tap. I knew these people where good, but not
this good. We quaffed his fine brews, ate Fritos and Easy Cheese (my
contribution the the festivities above and beyond the steaks) and talked
much further into the night than I realized by the time I got to the
car. (A mysterious shiny figure in the adjoining back yard pretty much
jolted us from out reverie.) Made some new friends that I can add to
those I've already made on this trip. I look very much forward to
hanging out with Ron and Jeanie again.
My hotel, a Sheraton, turns pout to be the best of the trip, and I'm
here just a few hours, dang it!
I will report on my return to Missoula and the Comet on Saturday, to
include an epilogue. Feelin' kinda' misty about this tour, all the
terrific people I've met. Tune in again and I'll cap this off.
That's it for today folks!
Be sure and check back for wrap up edition of Tales from the Road with
Brian and the Comet!
Day 29 - June 29, 2004 (NOTE: Click on photos to view larger images.)
99 Years Old!
Got to my noon signing at Seattle Mystery Books
where Tammy and Janine there to greet me. Also there was Alafair Burke –
a joint signing, doncha know. It was done very casually, just chatting
with customers, no slide show this time. Roomy store, great digs and
nice staff (with lots of copies of PIPSQUEAK!) What overshadows the
friendly folk at SMB was and elderly gentleman who arrived asking about
PIPSQUEAK. Ushered before me, he announced that he was Roy Wiprud and 99
years old (he didn’t look a day over 80 and I told him so.). Holy cow,
this was Tom and Deb (see Madison signing) Wiprud’s father, and he’d
taken the bus downtown for the first time in three years to see me.
Shame, all you younger Western Wipruds! If Roy can make it, so can you.
He’s quite fit, bears a distinct resemblance to my grandfather and
ascribes his longevity to “flax seed and contract bridge.” Hmm. The flax
seed I can do, but dunno about the bridge. Just gotta love having those
kinda genes in the family (I should have asked him if I could substitute
bourbon for flax seeds and poker for bridge.) Anyway, he waited
patiently for me to finish and continually feed my parking meter so we
could grab a bite and talk. He wouldn’t let me buy lunch or let me drive
him home – the independent streak runs strong in Roy. His father was
brother to my grandfather’s father, I think. (Help me out Tom…I’m still
waiting for a chart so I can follow this.) Which makes Roy my… grand
second cousin or something. He regaled me with some stories of my
grandfather Ted and their days in Montana, Aunt Agnes (who expired only
recently at the age of 104, I think) and our respective family
histories, but was most interested in what I was doing and how I write.
Had a really great talk, and I was really impressed by his
perceptiveness (i.e. he likes my books.) Kidding aside, I was very
touched indeed that he made the trip to come see me and that I had a
chance to meet him. And will again next year for FLIP, no doubt. Flax
seeds, anyone?
Whodunit? Books in Olympia were expecting me – Linda Dewberry
recognized me right off and cheerily handed me a buncha copies to sign,
admitting that there were even more but they’d been flying off the
shelf. I also met local newspaper man Terry Knight, of the Olympia
Sitting Duck News (no kidding), who jumped on the scoop of my arrival
and snapped a photo for the morning edition. Would have liked to stay
longer and chat with Linda, but was parked semi-legally. Oh, man! I got
a fifteen dollar ticket! At least they didn’t tow me out to the Navy
Yard or something. Well, it was worth it.
Made it to my Holiday Inn Express, which I already knew didn’t have
HS Internet, so will see if I can file through dial up, a crank phone,
Pony Express, mail tubes or maybe Western Union.
Tomorrow: Last Stop. Portland. And the final day of the bowling shirt
contest! Drum roll….
That's it for today folks!
Be sure and check back for another episode of Tales from the Road with
Brian and the Comet!
Day 28 - June 28, 2004 (NOTE: Click on photos to view larger images.)
AM: Outta Ritzville, Inna Seattle
Had I had internet access in
Ritzville, I would have tried to find some place interesting to go on my
way here in Seattle. Knock-out scenery of the Stuart Range (which I
guess in part of the Cascades?) and made it here by noon to a Quality
Inn near the Space Needle, that, after some confusion and room changes,
actually HAS a HS Internet connection. Luv'n it. Don’t have anything to
do until tomorrow (noon signing at Seattle Mystery Bookshop) so will see
what mischief I can get into in Seattle. Will post a follow up tonight.
Just to give you a little light from the end of the tunnel, I know
where I’m going to hang out for six weeks after the tour to finish FLIP
and work on Book 3. Heck, gotta go back and get the Comet, and I really
like the place I have there, so have extended my rental and will stay
there. Does the excellent fishing have anything to do with it? Darn
toot’n.
Now let me roam the streets and see what relevant oddities are out
there.
PM: Goin' potty.
So, what's pottery gotta do with taxidermy. Answer? Taxidermists buy
modeling clay. Seattle Pottery Supply owner Jim Lunz saw an opportunity
- trade modeling supplies for idle taxidermy. That's how he started
collecting, getting stuff on the cheap from the basements of
taxidermists. He has some fairly nice stuff, sorta a mixed bag of birds,
skulls, antlers and the like. But of particular interest was his own
brand of taxidermy, probably unique. He's an accomplished angler, and he
has a penchant for making molds of his catch. As a potter, he then makes
clay casts from the molds, colors and fires them into ceramic replicas
that are quite stunning. An affable and quirky guy who also houses
innumerable foreign and odd domestic cars in the process of rehab, one
wonders where he finds the time. But it was clear that he genuinely just
likes having taxidermy (and old cars) around, as I do. Truly, his form
of animal replication is a fascinating twist on the art of taxidermy,
and I'm thankful to Jim and his lovely assistant Kim for giving me a
tour of his collection.
After scoring that A1 discovery at Jim's pottery place, I walked a
couple miles, past fans lining up for the Mariners game at the stadium,
and found myself at a pub for a cocktail or three with Janine Wilson of
Seattle Mystery Bookshop fame. She's been a big supporter of yours truly
since back when, and we yakked non-stop about writers, writing and the
book biz for two hours before she had to flee, leaving me to an
excellent burger and another couple mile walk back to the hotel and the
warm glow of HS Internet.
Tomorrow: Noon signing, and then off to Olympia!
Is it too late to get this in for tomorrow Milty? Milty? Milty???
WAKE UP!
That's it for today folks!
Be sure and check back for another episode of Tales from the Road with
Brian and the Comet!
Day 27 - June 27, 2004 (NOTE: Click on photos to view larger images.)
White Steed
OK, gang, here’s the poop. Hadta leave the Comet in
Missoula for more intensive inspection of the electrical problem, and so
have soldiered fourth in a white rental. So onward west…
Got to Spokane on Sunday AM right in the middle of Hoop Fest to do my
drop in at Aunties. Not hula hoops, B-ball, which I’ve got nothing
against, per se, but this was a mob scene of strutting, sweaty and
largely shirtless people carrying water bottles and Gatorade. Music
blared, dozens of 3 on 3 basketball games were in action on the streets.
I wanted in and out of Spokane as quickly as possible, and so managed to
find a semi-legal space across the river and walk to the store, where I
dispatched six books on the shelves. Unfortunately I didn’t get to meet
Mitch Finley, the owner, but not doing so got me on the road faster, I
suppose.
“Yes, Brian, but what of the taxidermy?” Well, to tell you the truth,
there’s hardly a place in the northwest that DOESN’T have taxidermy. My
Dollar Rent-uh-Car place in Missoula had a bobcat, a mountain goat and a
marlin painted as a rainbow trout. Didn’t have my camera, but will try
to get a snap of the giant trout on my return.
So in keeping with the running obsession with my Comet, I thought I’d
forego taxidermy for a visit with my e-pal Shannon. He’s got a ’63 S22
Comet convertible, white, very cool. I’d never seen another Comet in
person, much less the sporty S22, which has four on the floor, bucket
seats, and a really nifty console. Shannon (and son Connor) extended my
tour to include a drive around town. His S22 has a glass pack instead of
a muffler and sounds bitchin’ (Sorry, Jeff Parker has got me saying
that…) Thanks again, Shannon – sorry I couldn’t show you my Comet.
I headed west after my visit to stay in the mighty burg of Ritzville,
my theory being that hotels are cheaper outside the city (and I didn’t
want to spend the night in Hoopville.) Here’s a piece of advice for
anyone traveling and in need of a HS Internet connection. Call the hotel
before you book. La Quinta’s wireless was down, had been for a week.
Lousy hotel, never going to one again (or the Best Western, same deal.)
That's it for today folks!
Be sure and check back for another episode of Tales from the Road with
Brian and the Comet!
Day 24 - June 24, 2004 (NOTE: Click on photos to view larger images.)
Missoula Layover
What have I been up to? Mainly just hanging
out, by the pool mostly, so I don't have a lot to report, and won't
until the tour starts up again Sunday morning.
I won't even talk about the car except to say it will be fixed
tomorrow. Definitely by Saturday AM.
So let's get right to the fishing, shall we? Yesterday, under sunny
summer skies, I went fishing with Pamala's brother-in-law Joe on Rock
Creek. Like of mind and discipline, Joe and I fished hard, 9AM until
10PM with scarcely a break. Not many anglers can push the pout side of
the envelope like that, but Joe is of that exceptional breed. A dirt
road along the river affords ample access, and many good spots, of which
there were many. Joe liked working the deeper channels, while I started
working the shallower edges and getting results of my own. What kind of
results, you say? Thirty four trout: cutthroat trout, rainbows, lots of
browns, a cut bow (half rainbow, half cutthroat) and one brook trout. A
real mixed bag. Largest fish was a 15" cutthroat. Took some pictures,
and realize now it would have been cool to show you pictures of all the
types of fish. But I get nervous wading in deep water with my digital
camera, so didn't have it with me all the time. Anyway, a very good day,
despite the lack of any strong hatches of insects. I made do dragging
caddises, the occasional PMD, and stimulators once ther sun was off the
water. "Huh?" That's just techie fishing talk for the anglers tuning in.
It gets dark here at 10:30 - not sure whether it's a factor of latitude
or time zone, but I have a hard time telling the time here - used to not
wearing a watch and telling time by the ambient daylight. But my inner
clock is set for EST. Have to deduct two hours from what time it looks
like.
And today? Hung out by the pool, did some writing, had friends with
their kids over to the pool. Didn't think about taxidermy once. Well,
until just now. I'll write again Saturday, and by Monday AM there'll be
a new road report.
That's it for today folks!
Be sure and check back for another episode of Tales from the Road with
Brian and the Comet!
Day 19 - June 19, 2004 (NOTE: Click on photos to view larger images.)
Problems Persist - Continued
*Saturday early AM: After studying the shop manual, become convinced
my problem is with the instrument regulator shorting out my generator,
so disconnect the little red light from hell from the regulator. Stop
for a drop in at The Book Shop in downtown Sheridan, and am met by
Jessica Midland, who very kindly opened early to meet me. She has lots
of copies, many requested by those who would have been at my formal
signing had the generator problem not persisted. Lovely store, and yet
another engaging bookstore owner. There's something about bookstore
owner (99% of them) - they are just the nicest folks.
Mechanic at Firestone determines I'm still getting a charge, so I
start the 7hr trip to Missoula, stopping for gas at Billings and Butte,
where all seems fine. Was I right about the source of the short?
Well, I made it, but when I turn the car off, the generator starts to
smoke and I have to pull the battery cable. I now determine that if I
jostle the wire harness between the generator and regulator, the short
desists. An intermittent short, which neither mechanic detected because
it wasn't shorting when they tested it. At least I'm in Missoula for a
week and have time to get the thing fixed for good before heading to the
northwest. I have dinner with Pamala Burke and her brother in law Joe at
a steak place with taxidermy such as elk that are commonplace in almost
every establishment. I was starving, hadn’t had much to eat in days from
nervous tension. Pamala can help me find a mechanic and portage me
around some. So, like my friend Chuck in Wyoming, she's being terrific in
helping me with my
problems.
I have a furnished apartment here, with a pool, car port and views of
the mountains. Hopefully I will get the car back soon and get fishing. Joe
offered to take me around on Wednesday, nice because I can't imagine the car
being fixed by then and he can show me some spots. I have to extend thanks
to the people on the Yahoo Comet chat page for their help, and to Ron,
Jeanie and Nicky at Northwest Falcon for rushing parts for me to ruin.
Exhausted even remembering this trial, just want some R&R. Will post
again Thursday night and relate all that goes on here in Missoula. I
leave Sunday AM for Spokane, and trust my mechanical problems will be
behind me. Please, dear Lord!
That's it for today folks!
Check back for another episode of Tales from the Road with
Brian and the Comet!
Day 18 - June 18, 2004 (NOTE: Click on photos to
view larger images.)
Problems Persist
Sorry I've been so long to get back. OK, here are
the highlights:
*Friday AM: UPS fails to deliver the parts until 1pm (guaranteed
delivery by 10:30 AM.
*Friday 6PM: Car performing OK, make it to Casper and Ralph's Books
for drop in signing, Tammy very graciously stays open for me. She even
helps me track down Shaun Harshman, owner of a Fiji Merman. Cold called
him, found him at home, and he and his lovely wife invited me over to
have a look. This is a carnival attraction, used in freak shows.
Supposed to look like the mummified remains of a merman, but is actually
Frankensteined from several animals, my guess being a monkey and a large
mouth bass. Funny that the Harshman's kept it in an aquarium (without
water, if you please.) Very happy to have scored this increasingly rare
form of taxidermy, generically known as "gaffs." They'll be in the next
book, FLIP.
*Friday, about 7:30 PM: Getting dark as storm cloud approach from the
north, no cell service. Guess what? The gen light pops on again, and my
gauges start acting oddly. Still 2.5 hours from Sheridan. I can run on
my battery power for while, but probably only two hours. Can't use
headlight or windshield wipers because they will drain the battery. Have
to hope the generator is at least charging a little, but it looks very
bad indeed. Open country, and I can’t afford to get stuck in a postage
stamp town. I press on, squinting through the windshield.
*Friday, about 10:00PM: Arrive in Sheridan, by some miracle. Rain has
subsided. Turn off car, oil and gen lights stay on. Sign in at hotel,
come back, and smell smoke. My generator is smoking, and I desperately
work to get my battery cable off the battery so the Comet doesn't burst
into flames. Get it off, and am exhausted from the tension. Next day is
Saturday. Not a good day to find a mechanic, and can't get parts until
Monday from Portland, looking at being stuck there until Wednesday.
Not
a good day.
BMW
Gen Light Off
Tammy at Ralph's Books,
in Casper.
Shaun Harshman, daughter,
and the Amazing Merman!
So lifelike even in death...
I think he was
smiling at me.
"Oh, Bloody Hell!"
gathering darkness...
middle of nowhere ...no help
That's it for today folks!
Check back for another episode of Tales from the Road with
Brian and the Comet!
Day 17 - June 17, 2004 (NOTE: Click on photos to view larger images.)
And you thought I was just teasing about the penguin. Sure enough,
in the lobby of the Little America Hotel / Restaurant / Gift shop in
Cheyenne was this splendid, regal bird. Poor critter died in captivity
on the way to Boston. But thanks to the taxidermists' art, the ol' boy
is still around to be enjoyed.
Well, I still had lotsa time on my
hands. What's next? Been to a lot of far out places that have dead
stuff. Howabout I try to find taxidermy and PIPSQUEAK in and everyday
shopping mall - like the Frontier Mall in Cheyenne? Bingo. Deer and
antelope in a sports store, in the hunting n' gun section. Walden books
was also forthcoming - PIPSQUEAK proudly displayed face out on the
bottom shelf (not in New in Paperback, but you can't have everything.)
Thinking I should have used a pen name so my book wouldn't end up on the
bottom shelf, something like Brian M. Aardvark. Didn't find any cheese
curds, but didn't look.
Keeping my fingers crossed that all goes well tomorrow AM so I can my
my rescheduled signings, and that the Comet is once again roadworthy. Of
course, as I drive north I'll be staring at the black GEN light, waiting
for it to pop on again. Man, they just don't make generators the way
they used to, do they?
Staying another night enjoying Chuck and Laurie's hospitality. Very
gracious of them to put me up.
That's it for today folks!
Check back tomorrow for another episode of Tales from the Road with
Brian and the Comet!
Day 16 - June 16, 2004 (NOTE: Click on photos to view larger images.)
"Houston, we have a problem."
Started the car early on the 16th
and the generator light popped back on. Chuck was in his truck with all
the fishing stuff, and we were going to drop the Comet at Tom the Tire
Man to have the front end aligned (noticed some tire wear.) Made it to
Tom's, where Tracy said he'd have someone look at the latest generator
problem. Finger's crossed.
Chuck drove us over to Laramie to a small private lake sitting in the
middle of the plain and surrounded by trailers. Nothing much to look at,
as Chuck had said, but pretty in a stark, western way. While Cheyenne
had been socked in with raid, it was sunny and breezy in Laramie, so we
counted ourselves lucky on the weather. We started out with flies, but
the wind picked up, and we had to resort to spinning gear, casting and
trolling spoons. Very effective. Chuck landed four and I landed two, but
we both had on and lost another three or four fat rainbow trout in the
18" range. All the while I was making call's to Tom the Tire Man getting
updates on the Comet. Prognosis shaky, and I figured the chances of me
getting another quick turnaround on the generator fairly remote.
The wind got fiercer, with white caps fighting the trolling motor. I
caught a tumbleweed, and we figured our stringer of six fish were
enough. Besides, we were both getting chilly out there. Yes, we were
meat fishing. There were orders to fill for the gals at Chickering
Books, where we found ourselves in the late afternoon mongering our
catch.
After signing stock and admiring Lois' elegant store, Chuck, Rose
Marie London and I repaired to a local watering hole, replete with
taxidermy. And a bullet hole in the bar mirror. I was told a man once
came in and shot the payphone after his gal used it to break up with
him. Talk about shooting the messenger. I dashed off for a half hour to
file my report at a local java joint with wireless, and by night fall we
three were tucking into CFS (chicken fried steak) at a fine dining
establishment. Delightful company, and I'm afraid Rose Marie and I gave
into baser impulses and picked on Chuck, "Star Author." Completely
unwarranted, mind you, which is why it was irresistible.
Chuck and I headed back over the range to Cheyenne in thick fog.
After eating three sandwiches in his kitchen (for some reason I was
ravenously hungry, even after the CFS) I turned in knowing that the
Comet would likely require another day in Cheyenne. And of course,
that's exactly what I found out the next morning. D&R Care Care around
the corner from Tom's now has the car, and Rick there showed me the
disassembled generator. Brushes good, windings bad, burned. He got a new
regulator, but the generator is not available locally. Has to be
overnighted. I put in a call to my faithful Comet supply shop in
Portland Oregon and they will overnight one to the tune of $105 via UPS.
$100 for the generator. Got no choice. Will lounge around Chuck's place
today, the 17th. Raining here, not feeling very outgoing. Chuck has
leant me his truck, but I don't think I'll do anything spectacular, like
go find a stuffed penguin. Hmmm. Come to think of it, there is a stuffed
penguin west of here...
That's it for today folks!
Check back tomorrow for another episode of Tales from the Road with
Brian and the Comet!
Day 15 - June 15, 2004 (NOTE: Click on photos to view larger images.)
Murder by the Book, Denver!
Filed
yesterday’s report from John’s balcony via the wireless connection at
the coffee shop across the street. Then went to said coffee shop and
had…coffee with John before bidding adieu.
Got to MBTB exactly at noon, where a crowd cheered as the Comet came
into view. Hey, twelve people at a signing is a crowd, OK? At that very
instant, my car’s red generator light came on – the Comet blushing? A
parking space had been saved for my red steed right in front and photo
ops ensued. Lauri Verschure and Joan Montgomery greeted me, and
suggested that I have the mechanic across the street take a look at the
Comet’s generator problem while I did my signing. No soap – he said he
didn’t do old cars, that the parts were hard to find. (Bull, but
whatever…) So as I did my signing, Lauri quite kindly sought out a
nearby mechanic who would look at it for me that afternoon.
Signing and slide show went off hitchless, and nobody ran from the
room when I showed Phil’s taxidermy studio. Highlight: I was showing a
Buckhorn slide of the whale penis suspended from the ceiling, when one
of the female attendees (to remain nameless) exclaimed: “Is that it?” I
replied: “Ma’am, its seven feet long. What more do you want?” In a
slight ebb in the resultant guffaws, I followed with: “Never look at a
penis and say ‘Is that it?’” Laughter burst fourth once more. Very cozy
bookstore, in what was a residential house, with a porch and such. I
made a mess of several people’s names and scribbled all manner of
gibberish to make up for it. This one woman’s name was Ginsu, I think…
On to the mechanic. After much probing and testing, Mechanic Phil
down at the Conoco determined that I basically needed a new generator
and regulator. Perhaps that loose bracket back in Iowa lead to this. He
made a few calls and the prognosis was good, that he could have the car
fixed by the end of the day. Leaving me at loose ends.
OK. Could I find taxidermy in this largely residential area of south
Denver? Could I find a copy of PIPSQUEAK? Could I find cheese curds?
For the first, I tried a thrift store, a seedy biker bar, and finally
hit pay dirt in a liquor store on Evans Avenue – two fish mounts. For
the second….well, there was this gap between Evanovich and Clark at the
Safeway that must have been where PIPSQUEAK sold out. No cheese curds at
the Safeway. Two outta three? I’ll take it.
By gum, Phil managed to get my generator rebuilt in three hours (sent
it out and it was back in three hours), and had the Comet back in trim
by about 6PM. Genuinely astounding – Phil really came through for me in
the clutch and got me back on tour – I doff my hat. And again, thanks to
MBTB for hooking me up with him, and hosting such a special signing.
Sun and clouds shrouding the Rockies to my left, I made it to Chuck
and Lauri’s place north of Cheyenne in record time. But of course, I
knew there were grilled steaks and cocktails at the end of the trail, so
it’s little wonder. Fabulous local grass-fed beef. Watched the Pistons
work their magic and turned in for ample sack time. Tomorrow we fish,
and I don’t have to drive!
That's it for today folks!
Check back tomorrow for another episode of Tales from the Road with
Brian and the Comet!
Day 14 - June 14, 2004 (NOTE: Click on photos to view larger images.)
To Boulder, Via Denver
Got a ton of sleep last night in my Fort Morgan
hotel, and what with my signing at 7PM had the luxury of lounging around
the hotel pool for a while before mobilizing. I was only and hour and a
half from Boulder, so how to fill the time. A stop – or two- in Denver.
First stop was the Buckhorn, a fine dining
establishment that very kindly allowed me to photograph their extensive
collection of taxidermy, both cased and free standing. They had one, but
two two-headed calves. They abound! Also notable a seal mount, a nice
loon, a cervet, and the usual host of others, all old but in good
condition. I had the good fortune to strike up a conversation with some
diners, who advised me that there was a taxidermist right around the
corner. Hmm.
Phil Gage’s Lifelike Taxidermy studio (www.1000sportsmen.com/lifelike.htm ) has a modest façade, but within
the artist was at his boast-worthy craft, and Phil graciously afforded
me some time for a tour. In the front room there were finished pieces
ready to be picked up, and a novelty piece I had yet to encounter: the
fur-bearing trout. The back room contained works in progress. His
capable assistant was working on a coyote, gluing and pinning the hide
to a form. Phil was doing the finishing touches on a mountain lion he
got in a state auction.
Apparently, it met an untimely end, either on the highway or down the
sights of a game wardens rifle, possibly for a pest. Notice how Phil got
the shoulder folds just right where the lion is resting most of his
weight.
Phil also intended to finish a Canada goose, whose skin lay in a heap on
a work bench – he expected to have it set up on a form by the end of the
day.
The goose hide had been treated with borax to dry and preserve it – just
plain ol’ borax laundry detergent. Fascinating stuff to see taxidermy in
the making, and he was obviously quite a talented taxidermist. I asked
whether he kept any taxidermy at home – only two pieces, a fish he
caught and another piece he moved there for a friend to pick up. Like
the rest of us, he tries not to take his work home with him.
Made it to Boulder with a lot of time on my hands, still, so drove up
the canyon to the Boulder reservoir and chilled out. Little did I know
that there was somebody else chilling out there – a cryogenically
preserved man one can view. Wish I had known. Not really taxidermy, but
still, a preserved specimen. Next time.
Cynthia Nye’s High Crimes mystery bookshop is
quite roomy and particularly stylish, with ample room for the gang that
were there for the signing – and then some. Ran the slide show about
Hell, albino taxidermy in Lima, and Betty – they balked at seeing my
photos from Phil’s shop, figuring it might be gruesome. Gave me chance
to sit in a comfy wing chair and chat for a while with the attendees,
this time a bit more about writing, PIPSQUEAK and the sequel FLIP. Quite
enjoyable. Thanks, Cynthia et al, and I look forward to dropping in
again next year.
Had the good fortune to have my friends Craig
Solomon and John McGirr attend the signing, and to take me out for
martinis in Denver. Seemed like an early enough evening, but when I got
back to John’s where I was to bed down, he and I ratchet jawed a bit
late. Have a signing at noon the next day. Nothing a little coffee won’t
make right.
That's it for today folks!
Check back tomorrow for another episode of Tales from the Road with
Brian and the Comet!
Day 13 - June 13, 2004 (NOTE: Click on photos to view larger images.)
The day started out with me rushing
to scramble past all the families with dozens of kids and pets at the
hotel and on the road to make some tracks. The long drive was pleasant
enough with sunny skies, top down. One just has to relax, not push. My
right foot has started hurting toward the end from pushing the
accelerator so I try to use the middle of my foot or the heel and jam
iot in there to keep a steady speed.
Damn
Minivan Hell just west of Omaha
Cruise Control
Some
archway that let's you know you're officially in the middle of nowhere
OK, a
big day ahead. Times Two! I promised and I deliver. I stopped by Fort
Cody. Behold the two headed calf.
Cody's,
where the jerky is double pressed.
Huhn?
Omigosh!
Lookitit!
Genuine
Cody's had an even more rare form of taxidermy.
Bought myself a new head knodder, in honor of enetering The West.
Cabelas!!! Where Taxidermy is Paramount!
Row
upon row...
...and so on...
...and
so on...
...and so on...
Creatures Great...
And
Small...
And
in Grand Dioramas
Topography at last! Just west of Sidney, NE.
I've
shown you collections both big and small, but this one is the mother
lode. At Cabela's hunt n' fish superstore in Sidney Nebraska, they
literally have everything. Every last critter, and sometimes in
quantity...and excess. Made a detour to get in on this, thought it
belonged on the taxidermy tour. I have so many photos...hippos, mind
you...but had to try to reign myself in for the site.
Zoomed out of Cabelas hell-bent for
the respite of a hotel room in Fort Morgan, CO. Had to take a back
two-lane highway and was mindful of speed limits and traps for same. All
went well, up until I got close to the interstate. Confused by a sign, I
missed my turn and pulled a U-ey. Oops. The two-way street had turned
into a one way street without me noticing. Johnny Law was Johnny on the
spot. The SUV that pulled me over was joined by an unmarked black car I
had actually passed safely in a speed trap. The SUV cop stood way over
my left shoulder in that way they do so you can't easily shoot them.
Very nice: "You're not from around here, are you?" Took my license and
reg and went back to his SUV. The second cop was positively in stitches.
He was laughing at my goof, and asked where I was going. I explained
about the book tour, etc., and driving across country. When the SUV cop
came back with my warning ticket, I apologized for being a dunderhead,
and repeated that I was crossing the country. Cop 2 from the black car
interjected: "He's a mass murderer. Been leaving bodies all across the
US. That's why he's got a red car and red upholstery. Blood won't show."
As God as my judge, that's what he said - jovially. I dunno, I'm used
to NYC cops who don't kid around so much. But give me these guy in
Sterling CO any day. Never seen such easy going officers. I salute
you!!!
Back
roads to Fort
Morgan on the interstate.
The
colorful state.
Ah,
now I see why they
call it colorful.
Both
literally and figuratively.
Off to the hotel, a cocktail, writing
this, and sweet slumber.
That's it for today folks!
Check back tomorrow for another episode of Tales from the Road with
Brian and the Comet!
Day 12 - June 12, 2004 (NOTE: Click on photos to view larger images.)
To Omaha
The day started out a stunner, sunny and clear, as I
passed over the North, Middle and South branches of the Skunk and
Raccoon Rivers. But by the time I was an hour from Omaha, the skies
looked mighty spooky ahead. Dark.
Forbidding. Strong gusty winds shoved the Comet. Yes, tornado warnings
on the radio, then a deluge as I crossed the Missouri River and into
Omaha. I was concentrating on making it to the hotel and out of harm’s
way, which I did, around 2PM. I don’t mind saying that twisters scare
the bejesus out of me.
Hotel was supposed to have HS wireless, like the last
Holiday Inn. It does, but only in the meeting room. Grrr. Will confirm
these sorts of details next time. Back to banging rocks together: dial
up.
Between storms, raced downtown but got drenched going
into the store. Kate and the gang (“The Catering Staff”, as Kate called
them) were busy turning out a spread for the occasion. Despite the rain,
a pretty good turn out, with lots of interesting questions (“What’s your
Holy Grail of taxidermy?” “Uh…”) I did a slide show of the taxidermy
venues I’ve visited recently (as depicted on these pages) and then
answered a heap of questions about taxidermy. Some questions, like the
history of taxidermy, more or less stumped me – mental not to research
that as it’ll be sure to asked again. As all this went on, a succession
of cats leapt onto the signing table for grooming and catnip mice I had
on hand. I kept the carafe of ice tea moving to prevent spills.
The whole gang turned out afterward for dinner at the
local Czech restaurant, and I sampled some very good goulash. Absolutely
stuffed to the brim. How did they know my predilection for goulash and
Pilsner Urquel? Not in my bio…Anyway, excused myself to race back here
and file my report before Milty and the guys in the control room get
into one of their Saturday night beer drinking games.
Thanks so much Kate for the warm welcome and fine
dinner. And thanks to those who turned out in very wet conditions.
Tomorrow: Into the abyss of Nebraska, to Denver, longest drive of the
trip.
Two headed or six legged cows possible.
Until then - BMW
Nice day, but if
you look in the distance...
Sky turning ugly
And uglier still.
Crossing the
Missouri River
and into Omaha, in
a thunder storm.
In a brief calm amongst the storms, I
dashed to the car and to my signing at The Mystery Bookstore. Kate was
quite welcoming, though her cats stayed hiding for the moment. I didn't
realize Kate had prepared such an elaborate event, with eats and punch
and everything (I'm used to a little suds and Sweibach in the pantry.)
Despite the horrific weather (twisters, thunderstorms) we had a fair
crowd and I did my slide presentation about my travels, covered my
personal history with the publishing world and then we chatted for a
long while about taxidermy in general, as art, as a medium. And of
course the cats materialized and tried to topple my chalice of iced tea
as I moved it from one side of the table to the other. I like cats at a
signing, sorta helps keep things grounded. Best signing yet. AND they
all took me out for goulash at the local Bohemian joint. I tell yah, the
other signings have a lot to compete against here. Many thanks, Kate,
and those who came to the signing and dinner. Hope to see you all at the
Madison B'con, if not before.
Reverse angle:
The Mystery
Bookstore,
Omaha, Comet out in the rain
The Spread! Eats!
"The Catering Staff" Baking
was done, cheese
and meats prepped...
A Crowd Forms.
Kate Birkel, proud owner
of TMB (framing by Kate :o)
Day 11 - June 11, 2004 (NOTE: Click on photos to view larger images.)
Off to Iowa. Foggy, threatening rain, but the
skies improved as I headed both south and west amongst the farmlands and
ever increasing corn crops, red barns, and silos. Got hotter too, so
that by the time I reached Iowa City it was in the upper 80's, I'd
guess. Still didn't like the looks of some dark clouds. No Oz
references, mind you, but I'm cautious about the weather here. The top
stayed up.
Big store, next to a college campus, Prairie Lights was quite
welcoming. Paul Ingram was garrulous and accommodating, and gave me his most
troll-like pose over the stack of my signed copies. Nice, touch, Paul. Too darn
many smiling faces of bookstore people, about time we had one who dared you to
try and take a copy of PIPSQUEAK. Thanks again, Paul, and hope to drop by next
year for FLIP.
Rest of day was uneventful except for having to tighten the
bracket on my generator, which was rattling. Clutch making a slight whirr when
depressed after long travel, may have to have it looked at tomorrow by a pro.
Hope it won't compromise Kansas City.
All for now - it's in the can, Milty! PRINT!
BMW
Foggy drive toward Iowa
Crossing the mighty Miss'sip
Elegant Prarie Lights
Bookstore in Iowa City
Paul Ingram
Scenery that will likely
not change on the way
to De Moine, Iowa
That's it for today folks!
Check back tomorrow for another episode of Tales from the Road with
Brian and the Comet!
Day 10 - June 10, 2004 (NOTE: Click on photos to view larger images.)
Jon
and I have a tradition of hearty breakfasts together (though his are
always heartier than mine) and this reunion was no exception.
He
took me to a Greek diner and we had breakfast “skillets” of tomato, hash
browns, cheese, the kitchen sink, and eggs. No need to eat for the rest
of the day.
Back
on the road, I made my way to Oconomonmnho….wait…
Oconomowoc, and the folks at Books & Company.
Met
Diane at the counter, and Diana Cohen the owner (pictured.) Had my book
nicely displayed next to the counter with the tour info – give `em the
gold star. Had a lotta fun chatting with them, and we agreed that next
year I should come back for a signing for FLIP.
I
could go on at great length about this, and took a whole battery charge
worth of photos. The progenitor of the taxidermy collection contained in
the basement of the Crest Funeral home is an impressive sportsman name
Sam Sanfillippo, currently 84 years old, but those years have been spent
well.
That
is to say, he has the most incredible collection of fish trophies one is
likely to find anywhere. Walls of walleye. Rooms of exotic and tropical
fish.
Four bowfin mounts (you don’t see that very often.) Sixteen (Ithink)
huge musky mounts. Innumerable pike, trout, and grayling.
Every
conceivable domestic mammal, including lots of albino raccoons, albino
martens, badgers, otters, beavers, elk, moose, caribou…I can’t think of
any eastern critter not included in this collection.
Sixteen
musky! (Giant toothy fish found in cold and inhospitable north woods.)
Pictures of Sam with notable outdoorsmen of every stripe.
This
collection in the embodiment of huge accomplishments and dedication to
angling, and a fisherman such as myself is rightly humbled.
This has to be one of the top five private collection of fish trophies
caught by one man.
But
then, there’s another side to the collection, a whimsical side, and it
usually involves…squirrels. Dioramas. Check out the pix, and then check
out www.roadsideamerica.com
for more on Sam’s collection. He’s a heckuva fisherman, and a unique
sense of humor about squirrels.
Check out
the movies of these whimsical wonders by clicking
here.
Where there's a clown,
there could be a party
store...
CHECK OUT OUR EXCLUSIVE MOVIES! BRIAN
TOOK THESE GREAT VIDEOS AT CREST FUNERAL HOME!
Boy, does it ever rain in Wisconsin.
Poured today, but boated my way to Booked for Murder and my pals Terri
and Linda. OK, so I only just met them in Chicago, but they're the kind
of people I just instantly like. They had a table, chairs and a small
group of attendees for the signing all set up, and I gave an impromptu
review of my travels among odd taxidermy so far (for those not keeping
up with these pages.) Little slide show on the laptop, and confessions
of duck ownership by one of those in attendance.
Late arrivals included Tom and Deb
Wiprud, my seconds cousin and wife. Delightful people, and none too
ordinary either. Went to dinner with them and interrogated them at
length about their hobbies of making fireworks and rail carring. Rail
carring is riding railroad tracks in a personalized little rail car - is
a train coming? If it is...well, Tom and Deb live on the edge amongst
the explosions and screaming wheels of braking locomotives at 300' above
a gorge on a narrow trestle. Thrill seekers! Went back for more the next
AM over breakfast. Such eclectic people, proud bearers of the Wiprud
name.
Me signing at Booked
For Murder in Madison
Me, Tom and Deb Wiprud
of Minnesota.
Terri and Linda,
of Booked for Murder,
plus headless black dog
That's it for today folks!
Check back tomorrow for another episode of Tales from the Road with
Brian and the Comet!
Day 9 - June 9, 2004 (NOTE: Click on photos to view larger images.)
Jeff and I packed up and left early, contemplating both the paucity of decent
fish in the Au Sable’s “Wholly Waters” ….and Party Stores. When getting
directions to the lodge from a friendly local in Grayling, Michigan, we were
told the turn we needed to take was next to a party store, one of two in that
vicinity. We thought that rather odd, until by the light of day the next
morning, we realized a “party” store was actually a
liquor/cigarette/beer/wine/ammo store. Got a few chuckles out of imagining
somebody walking in and asking for a luau kit or pin-the-tail-on-the-donkey set.
When it finally came to pass that we actually stopped in at
said party store (for batteries that were dead) we got to talking to the
counter gal who learned we were from out of state. Unprompted, she said
how confused she was when she was in state X and asked for the nearest
party store.
“They sent me to a place that sold balloons!” Mirth followed for hours.
Parting with Jeff at the long term parking lot, him to his
flight, me to Wisconsin...
...land of cheese (as exemplified by the numerous
huge signs for discount cheese warehouses.)
I got into Milwaukee early for my signing at Mystery
One, and Richard Katz was kind enough to afford me some time on line so I could
check my email.
Randy
Wayne White showed for his signing, and mine followed, with some friends
of relatives stopping by to demand copies of DIRT NAP. Sold them three
PIPSQUEAKS instead. Richard and David at Mystery One were very
accommodating,
...
as were my friends Jon and Ruth Jordan (be sure to check out their new
mystery magazine CRIME SPREE.) They took me out to dinner to a tavern,
and before I knew it I was ensconced in the Jordan’s huge apartment
complex and literary collection/archives disc using books and music way
far into the night. Really appreciate them putting me up, and covering
me with cats for a sound night’s sleep.
That's it for today folks!
Check back tomorrow for another episode of Tales from the Road with
Brian and the Comet!
Day 7- 8 (NOTE: Click on photos to view larger images.)
Hi
gang! Sorry for being incommunicado as I don’t have dial up here
at the fishing lodge. I will see if I can get the lodge to email this
one and the report for June 6th today to Milty.
While
Jeff Parker and I have been having a lot of laughs, and Gates Au Sable
Lodge is great, the fishing has been difficult. Or as we say in angling
parlance, “technical,” meaning “not a lot of fish.” Nobody here is
getting a lot of fish, but Jeff and I have been working hard at it, to
the extent that we are up at 6:00 AM and do not leave the river until
after dark, which up here is 10:30PM! Long days, filled with mosquitoes
and black flies and the occasional rising fish that won’t take a g*#!!@$
thing we have to offer. Well, not entirely true. Jeff got a nice 13”
brown yesterday (on the surface) to my one 8” brookie (not on the
surface.) Last night’s rise started, bugs everywhere, fish starting to
rise, and then it all just stopped.
This
AM we were out earlier, and Jeff got 3 moderate sized fish and I
continued my predilection for the dinks with 4 pocket trout. Today was
the second day for me being flummoxed by a large fish making big rises –
he just refuses to be fooled. Appalled at my inability to get a fish on
a dry fly here. Tonight we will again wait in the dark for the bugs and
the rise. I have never seen such insufferable trout, and have every
reason to believe that experience will be further bolstered this
evening. It's very warm here, even at night, and today we are taking a
well-deserved siesta before venturing fourth once more into the breach.
Tomorrow we leave early to get Jeff to the airport and me to my car at
the airport, from whence I will zoom up to Milwaukee for a 7PM signing –
probably wont have tomorrow’s report until the day after.
Apologies – I will try to catch up once I have
internet access. Now lemme see if I can get these reports filed – until
later!
That's it for today folks!
Check back tomorrow for another episode of Tales from the Road with
Brian and the Comet!
Day 6 (NOTE: Click on photos to view larger images.)
On Sunday, Jeff Parker and I met at Avis and blasted back east and
north to Michigan for some fishing – hey, what are conventions like BEA
for if not for an excuse to go fishing? We decided not to push it to
make the evening fish, and besides, we had to visit Betty at Crane’s Pie
Pantry, in Fenville, which is part way up Michigan’s west coast off of
I196.
This
is Betty. She’s famous in that part of Michigan, a fixture, perhaps even
an institution. Adults and Kids alike are fond of visiting Cranes both
for Betty and the most excellent pastries (Jeff and I bought cider
donuts, which were superb – wish we’d bought more.) In life, Betty was
the beloved pet of a crust roller’s Aunt and became a family heirloom in
need of a home. She seems well appreciated by all who visit her at
Cranes, and when we visited her was freshly vacuumed and quite comfy in
her sleigh, gazing expectantly out the window. Or so it seemed, but
looking at the photos, she seems to have her eyes rolled slightly to the
side, warily. Anyway, sure is nice when the taxidermy is actually where
it is supposed to be, unlike Stumpy. Speaking of nice, Crane’s owner
Rebecca Crane graciously greeted us personally, filling us in on Betty’s
and Crane’s provenance.
“Look, Betty, the barn’s on fire!”
“Look
out, Betty! An author is sneaking up on you!”
Blurry picture of Betty before being immortalized.
That's it for today folks!
Check back tomorrow for another episode of Tales from the Road with
Brian and the Comet!
Day 5 (NOTE: Click on photos to view larger images.)
Indian Statue, Chicago Style…but do
they sell clocks and moccasins?
First Stop: Alibi
Books in Glenview. Another sunny, convertible-friendly day here in the
Midwest. Parking friendly, too, as I found a space right in front of the
store. Sheri the owner wasn’t there, but her assistant Laurie had me
sign copies of PIPSQUEAK that were right in front of the counter.
Thanks, Alibi!
Next Stop:
Scotland Yards Books, in Winnetka. More parking-friendly, except across
the street. Met Susan, who was working the counter and called owner Judy
Duhl to come on down. And so she did. Had the books piled on the table,
and signed `em all. Had a really great talk with Judy about weird
taxidermy the town of Hell. Such a delightful person and I look forward
to meeting her again.
Here’s Judy
holding matching copies of PIPSQUEAK.
Many thanks again for the hospitality, Judy.
Third and last
stop: Something Wicked Books. Parking wasn’t so friendly and had to wait
for fifteen minutes to get a space across the street so that I could get
a shot of the car and their sign in the same frame. Owner Linda DeWoskin
was a.) very cordial and pleased to see me; b.) said there’d been some
misunderstanding and that they didn’t know I was coming an so didn’t
have any of my books ; c.) told me she didn’t do drop in signings,
didn’t care who I was and basically gave me the bum’s rush. Thanks again
Linda, hope to see you again soon too! ;-)
Weaved my way back
to downtown with much on and off ramp fun, and proceeded to Printers Row
for the book fair. Ran into Jeff Parker, but forgot to get a photo of
him all gussied up for his reading.
Hooked up with Pamala Burke and
friends Kurt and Mary Anne for lunch at Manny’s Deli, at big piles of
meat on small pieces of bread. Pastrami was top notch, Katz Deli
quality.
That's it for today folks!
Check back tomorrow for another episode of Tales from the Road with
Brian and the Comet!
Day 4 - June 4, Friday (NOTE: Click on photos to view larger images.)
Coming into Chicago during rush
hour. Very long and tiring day. Hell wasn’t as easy to find as one might
think. Where’s Tina, Teris and Phyllis now when I need some drinkin’
buddies?
Wolverines R Us – in Ann Arbor
In case you needed directions…
Brian Visits Hell Michigan. Pictures
say it all. No bookstores today!
More Hell...
Yet more Hell...
Jackalopes! Many more to come, and
of course, there would be taxidermy in Hell…
That's it for
today folks!
Check back tomorrow for another episode of Tales from the Road with
Brian and the Comet!
Day 3 - June 3, Thursday (NOTE: Click on photos to view larger images.)
11AM: Stopped in at Books & Company in Dayton, and Cathy had
me sign their copies. Gorgeous store, nice people. Not a lotta books, but once
they saw Harlan's endorsement, Cathy promised to order more. Thanks, Harlan. He
got a bowling shirt for his trouble. And a case of Yoo Hoo ;-)
2:30PM: Wright-Patterson Air force Museum, to see Stumpy the
Pigeon. A rare piece of taxidermy, Stumpy is a carrier pigeon, which are now
extinct from use as messengers during WWI. Unfortunately, Stumpy was in
hiding, in “storage.” Personally, I think he was stolen. Wanted to know
why he was called Stumpy – missing a leg or…maybe something got shot off
during the war that helped end his kind. Took a photo of the case he might
have been in had he not been stolen.
3:30PM: Stopped at the Allen County Museum, a highly
recommended place to stop in Lima Ohio even if you aren’t fascinated by
taxidermy. There’s a room called Noah’s Ark that has mechanized and
elaborate taxidermy diorama of the Noah story, complete with dove that
flies out and brings back a leaf to the Ark. They also have “the world’s
largest display of albino taxidermy" – beaver, fox, weasel, squirrel,
crow, you name it…see photos. There’s also a display of “endangered
species” from the turn of the century that includes rare pieces such as
duckbill platypus, condors, bird of paradise, ivory billed woodpecker….all
very rare indeed thanks to the man who made all this stuff to adorn his shoe
store back in the 1920’s. Art Orchard was our guide there, very helpful and
informative guy, and I’m in his debt for spending time
helping me photograph the collection. There was also a bizarre Ferris wheel of
exotic birds that didn’t work – well, it lit up, but that was it. Very cool,
though. Picture of me on 3D trolley sleeping.
5:45PM: Had to put the pedal to the metal to make my next
drop in at Aunt Agatha’s in Ann Arbor. More Bob Evans (see photo, and there were
none once I entered Michigan) and lotsa trucks. So many semis on the road, weigh
stations were my only respite. Sunny top down day. Made it to Aunt Agatha’s, met
one of the owners Robin who generously gave me a AA T-shirt. Great store, and
Robin was terrific. She’d warned me some fans were awaiting me, and I was
rushing to make it to her store before they left. Who could they be? Who else?
Tina, Teri and Phyllis Beck! I’ve seen them in NYC, and they’ve been big
supporters of mine. Drove hours from Bay City to surprise me, and I was very
touched indeed. Dang it, though, I wish I’d known they were coming so
I could
have gone out to dinner with them! Had plans to see a distant cousin, a Wiprud,
which are almost as rare as Ivory Billed Woodpeckers, Albino Badgers and Carrier Pidgeons. Will see more of them –Wiprud’s - in Madison Wisconsin.
A good day. Early disappointment about Stumpy, but rebounded
nicely.
Quick! Back to the hotel to submit my daily log to Milty and
the crew in the control room. Seems last night’s report was put in after they’d
zonked out from too much Iron City Beer and a lengthy game of Acee Ducee. Who
can blame them? The life there at wiprud.com central is a lonely one. ;-)
Until tomorrow – going to Hell first thing. Hell? Tune in to
find out!
Day 2 - June 2, 2004 (NOTE: Click on photos to view larger images.)
The car was a mess this AM what with the rain and me parking
under a tree, so I had to find a "by hand" car wash. Of course, I got suds all
over me with the soapy wand, but managed to mop it off and get to Joseph Beth
looking like I hadn't come from a pie fight.
Unfortunately, Ingram hadn't delivered the books yet, and
hoping that they might by noon, I roamed around outer Columbus and found a
Borders. Hot damn! They had three copies of PIPSQUEAK on the shelves and five on
the "new in paperback table." I, of course, rearranged those on the shelve face
out. But it was a bit of a thrill to have them there without me prodding them -
pictures of those first found books on the shelves enclosed.
Got back to J&B and found the books weren't due until 4PM, so
signed name plates. Susan Windle, manager of JB, was very nice indeed and I was
awarded with a JB travel coffee mug - much needed for the remainder of my trip!
She also has copies of Sleep with the
Fishes.
Next stop: Westerville. Unfortunately, John and Toni closed
the shop early without instructions for signing names plates or anything so my
trip to Dayton was for naught. Continue to see innumerable Bob Evans
restaurants, new to me. And a stop in Akron got me a most excellent "big Indian"
statue carved from a tree - raining like the dickens so only got a glancing
photo out the window of this magnificent carving. Sun and clouds, intermittent
rain and ominous things that looked like imminent tornados, so the top stayed
up.
Found that there's a Brooklyn Heights in Ohio - home is never
necessarily far away. Lotsa trucks out here, semi city, truck plaza heaven.
Staying tonight in a Marriott, and had to change rooms from a smoking one.
Expect lotsa cool stuff tomorrow as I seek out stumpy the pigeon, albino
taxidermy, and three fingers in a jar.
-- BMW
Day 1 - June 1, 2004
(NOTE: Click on photos to view larger images.)
By
the way, before leaving
Warwick, Mass., where I love the police log in the local paper: One day all was
very boring except for the following: “Dead body found at 111 Elm Street.” That
was it. Next day, they reported again and said “A deceased body was found
at 111 Elm Street, and the Massachusetts State Crime Prevention Task Force was
notified.” A little too late, I’d say.
Apocryphal – just like Lindbergh’s take off, it was rainy.
Time: 7:51 am. Odometer: 92,222.2.
Weather cleared up as I traveled west, by Syracuse, but it
was very windy so the top stayed up.
Roadside
attractions will be a daily part of each log, and today I had two big Indians.
One I got a photo of on Route 2 in Massachusetts, the other right on I90 near
Buffalo but I wasn’t quick enough with the camera (looking forward to lotsa Paul
Bunyans up north.) Of course, there is the tower that views three (count `em,
three!) states on the incline into the Berkshires, which were foggy but
predictably steep. Of course, I got stuck behind a cement truck for much of it.
Passed through many small towns with signs declaring “Thickly Settled.” What is
it with moccasins? It seems they are a hot item in Pioneer Valley tourist traps.
I don’t know anybody who wears moccasins, though one person who wears mukluks
quite stylishly. Thought about buying a pair of moccasins, thought they might be
comfortable driving shoes.
But
I was in a hurry to gas n’ gum up in Clump Corner near Williamstown and get on
my way. Finally the vista of Troy, NY lay before me and I knew the two lane
nonsense and moccasins would come to an end and tolls would begin. That didn’t
necessarily mean things got boring. New York, PA, then Ohio where the exits are
numbered by the mile markers. Truck Plazas, like Dixie and Stateline.
Now
you know you’re going on a long journey. And let’s not forget that big Indian
statue – dang, sorry I didn’t get the photo but it snuck up on me. Saw a sign
for “Fireworks and Karate Supplies.” What kind of supplies are necessary for
Karate? The smock, belts of different colors, and….? And why sold with
fireworks? Must investigate.
Safely ensconced at Motel 6, first drop in tomorrow and then
to wild and wonderful Westerfield. Stay tuned! Same Bat Channel, Same Bat
Time. -- BMW
Milty Vargas, here, with the latest on
preparations for the Convertible Tour. We here at www.wiprud.com have been busy
spiffing up the control room, cleaning greasy control knobs and buffing computer
monitors for the big day, Tuesday June 2nd, when Brian boards the convertible
for the long trek from Warwick Massachusetts to Cleveland. Could Lindburg’s
daring flight across the Atlantic have held any more suspense? Sir Hillary’s
mind-boggling ascent to the top of Everest? Scott of the Antarctic’s soft ice
cream stand at the South Pole? For thirty days of white-knuckle intensity, the
www.wiprud.com control room we will be following his progress and posting
bulletins here as he crossed the steamy jungles of northern New York, the
forbidding peaks of Ohio, the burning sands of Omaha, and the vast, gator
infested swamps of Iowa, etc. etc. So check in often.
Anyway, we thought you’d like to see what’s gone into the preparations for the
epic voyage. (By the way, click on any of these
finely composed photos to view a larger image of all the wonders within!)
The Packing:
"It’s not so much what you take as what you
DON’T take," says Brian’s packing consultant Moto Arushi. "I take one look at
nine foot sail fish and say, ‘Holy cow, you outta you’re mind?" The fish and
most of the taxidermy Brian had wanted to take with him have been deleted from
the list. Mr. Arushi assured that only the essentials have been packed. "Lotsa
underwear, lotsa socks – that’s where you begin for a trip like this," says Moto.
"From there, shirts, and a few pants in dark colors that wont’ show the dirt.
Deodorant, a water pick and air fresheners take care of the rest." At last
count, the number of pairs of underwear was 24 in black and grey.
The Comet:
Preparation of the Comet for the long trip
have been the sole province of Pappy "Grease Nipple" Hills, an impresario among
vintage car mechanics. "I’ve been wanking on jalopies long before were born,
buddy" Hills barks with his characteristic scowl. A demanding mechanic, he wont
settle for anything less than perfection from his pit crew: Fanny, his crew
chief, and Sparky, their adopted son. "Found sparky in the back seat of a Impala
at a wrecking yard while looking for an intake manifold," Hills looked wistful.
Fanny added: "Seemed like kismet, so we took him and the manifold home." While
the Comet has been performing flawlessly, certain precautionary maintenance has
been performed. Repairs and improvements to the Comet for the trip include new
radiator hoses, newly packed bearings, all-synthetic lubrication, new wiper
blades, blower motor fuse replaced, a new trunk light, tightened exhaust manifold, new wires and plugs, new cap and rotor, all new filters, fine tuning
of the X12, a shrunken head hanging from the rear view mirror, padded
double-deck cup holder and putting a magnet on the back of the cell phone so it
sticks to the dash. The interior has been supplied with a myriad of conveniences
such as an organizer for sunglasses, lip balm, hand sanitizer and chewing gum,
plenty of club soda, a smallish trash can, bongos and a yard gnome. "Sparky
thought of the bongos," Fanny said. "What better place to play the bongos than
on a long trip?" The purpose of the garden gnome remains murky. "Arushi and
Brian had this huge argument about that thing," Grease Nipple growled. "But the
gnome is along for the ride."
